The World’s Worst Traffic Jams Are in Bangkok
曼谷──全世界塞車最嚴重的地方
Thailand is famous around the world for many things: old temples, delicious food, exotic dances and very friendly people. It’s also famous for the world’s worst traffic jams! The distance from the centre of Bangkok to the airport is only around 30 kilometers. Yet during rush hour at the weekend, the journey has been known to take up to five hours! Some Japanese businessmen say they won’t do business in that city unless they can travel from the airport by helicopter. Yes, I understand why this is. It’s terrible when you’ve got a plane to catch and after a considerable time, your taxi has hardly moved.
泰國有許多東西馳名全球：古剎、美食、艷舞，以及友善非常的人民。泰國的塞車嚴重程度，也是出了名的世間第一等！從曼谷市中心到機場這段距離，只有30公里。但是若碰上週末尖峰時刻，大夥兒都知道這段路程得花上五個小時！有些日本人說，如果要他們在曼谷做生意，除非他們能夠搭直昇機前往機場，否則免談。是啊，我很能理解這種想法。當你得趕著搭飛機，在計程車裡塞了好一段時間，卻幾乎沒啥進展，這可糟透了。
However, one lady who owns several boutiques seems to have found the answer to the problem. It’s important for her to travel to her various boutiques spread around Bangkok as quickly as possible. Formerly, she used to travel around in style in her chauffeur-driven Mercedes-Benz. But this isn’t always possible nowadays. So, when her limousine gets stalled in a traffic jam, she is quite prepared for it. A motorbike is transported on the roof of her car. So, when she is stuck in a traffic jam, she has the driver take the motorbike down from the roof. Then, leaving her car behind, she squeezes through the traffic ahead on her motorbike and is able to arrive on time for any appointment. Why don’t Japanese business executives try out this idea? It’s certainly a lot cheaper than hiring a helicopter.
不過，有位坐擁多間精品店的女士似乎已經找到了解決問題之道。由於她的精品店廣佈曼谷各處，她必須能夠在最短時間內迅速往來不同分店。以往，她都是好整以暇地坐在賓士車內，由司機接送。但現在，這可不見得行的通。所以，當她所乘坐的禮車又卡在車陣當中時，她早已做好萬全準備──在車頂上放一輛摩托車。這麼一來，一旦遇到塞車，就叫司機把摩托車從車頂卸下，把禮車拋在後頭，騎著摩托車鑽出車陣。不管什麼約會，她都能準時赴約。日本的商界主管怎麼不試試這招？絕對比租一架直昇機要便宜得多。
Mothers also have problems with traffic jams. If they live in the rich suburbs and their children’s school happens to be situated on the other side of the city, life can be very difficult. How can they make it to the first class on time? They just make a very early start. I’ve heard that at four or five o’clock in the morning, while it’s still dark, a sleeping child may be carried to the back seat of the family car. If possible, this is often done without waking up the sleeping child. There’s no problem because all of the child’s needs have been prepared in the back seat: materials for washing, food for breakfast, a change of clothes and school textbooks.
塞車問題也讓當媽媽的人很頭痛。如果住在高價的郊區，偏偏孩子們上的學校卻在城市的另一端，日子可就難過了。該如何準時趕上第一節課呢？他們只得早早起床。我聽說早上四、五點，天還沒亮，還在睡夢中的孩子就被塞進車子後座。如果可以，通常會儘量不把小孩吵醒。這也沒問題，因為所有他需要的東西──
盥洗用品、早餐、該換的衣服、學校的教科書──都已經放在後座了。
In fact, because of traffic jams, new services and jobs have been created. Among them, is the sale of portable and disposable toilets. As they say, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” From this, you can see that Thais are a very practical people who like to fulfill every human need. But don’t ask me how to use them, because I haven’t yet been involved in such a situation. But when the time comes, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
Luckily, there is another way of traveling in Bangkok apart from using the roads, and that is by river transport. It’s really great fun to use. The boats come and go like buses. They stop and start at various points along the river, which luckily winds its way right through the heart of the city, so it’s very convenient.
其實，塞車還創造了新的服務與工作機會。其中一項就是販售可攜式廁所的服務。這正應了那句話：「需要為發明之母」。只要是民之所需，泰國人便希望能滿足這些需求，泰國人之務實，由此可見一斑。可是，別問我這東西該怎麼用，因為那樣的情況我還沒碰上。不過，真的有那個時候，我應該自然而然就能搞懂了。
Tourist cruises along the river are also popular, especially ‘the Rice Barge Tour.’ Maybe one of the reasons for its popularity is not only because of the native life you can see on the riverbanks. Another reason is that tourists can drink as much whiskey and rum as they like while sightseeing at the same time. At least, that’s how it was a few years ago. Perhaps it’s different now. I remember as the boat passed a beautiful building, our guide said, “And that’s the famous temple of the Golden Dawn.” One thirsty tourist, who may have been hard of hearing or had a strange sense of humor, said, “I don’t want to wait until the golden dawn. I prefer to have my Black and White whiskey now.”
所幸除了開車上路之外，曼谷還有另一種交通方式可選，那就是河上運輸。這種方式真的很有意思。船隻來來去去，就像公車一樣。船隻沿著河道在不同地點停泊後又開動，正好輾轉通過市中心，方便得很。河上的觀光巡航也很熱門，尤其是「榖米遊船之旅(Rice Barge Tour)」。或許其中一個讓它這麼受歡迎的理由在於你不只可以見識到河岸邊的原始生活，旅客還可以在遊覽風光的同時，盡情暢飲威士忌與藍姆酒。至少，幾年前還是如此，也許現在已經不同了吧。我還記得當船隻駛過一處美侖美奐的建築時，導遊說：「那就是知名的金色黎明寺(譯註:俗稱「鄭王廟」)」，有位酒意正濃的旅客可能是聽力不怎麼好，還是他的幽默感與眾不同，就說：「我可不想等到什麼金色黎明的，我要現在就來喝黑白牌威士忌(譯註:黑白牌威士忌Black & White whiskey品牌歷史悠久，始自英國，品牌名稱來自於酒瓶標籤的顏色。目前主要市場只在法國及南美)。」
Anyway, traffic jams are a real problem and they’re just getting worse. And it’s not only the drivers who suffer. Sometimes just crossing a busy street can be a major operation. There are no pedestrian bridges or zebra crossings over roads as in Tokyo. Sometimes, you just have to take your life in your hands and run for it when there’s a break in the traffic. And, you really do have to risk your life. As I’ve said, Thais are the most charming and friendly people in the world. But sometimes, when they get behind the steering wheel of a car, the devil seems to get into them. Anyway, I guess, there are kamikaze drivers in every big city, but Bangkok certainly seems to have more than its share of them.
總而言之，言而總之，塞車確實是個嚴重的問題，而且越來越變本加厲。不只是開車的人感到痛苦，有時候光是要在繁忙大街上過個馬路都得費上一番工夫。這兒的馬路不像東京那樣設有天橋或畫有斑馬線。有時，你只能鋌而走險，看準了車陣空隙，就勇往直前。而且，你真的得冒著生命危險去做。我說過，泰國人是世上最迷人、最友善的民族。但有時候，當他們坐在車子裡，手操方向盤時，就活像是魔鬼附身一樣。我想，不管怎麼說，每一座大城市裡總是會有開起車來有如神風特攻隊一般的駕駛，只不過這樣的人，在曼谷是比較多。
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